Once again apologies for appalling tardiness, but my life has changed course yet again, albeit temporarily. It was my intention to return to Africa on the 4th of this month and yet that date has come and gone and still I find myself in London.

My decision to leave Carol to her own devices was met with little enthusiasm by my closest friends and I was persuaded to re-consider my decision. So, I did think it through again and decided to HAVE treatment after all and as a result have spent many hospital appointments having every kind of test to determine whether Carol had spread. But Carol had kept herself to herself and not strayed from Mummie's boob. Which is v good news. I start chemo on Friday 13th!

I have no problem with going through treatment at all, except for the time involved; it will take months to complete and I found the idea of being away from my babies for that long quite unacceptable. I wanted to rush back to them more than anything else. But when it was pointed out to me that if I did that I only had an 18 month to 2 year life expectancy, where-as with treatment I could have another 10 to fifteen years to spend with my babies it seemed churlish to refuse the opportunity for treatment at the new Macmillan Cancer Unit which opened its doors for the first time last week, and is considered to be the best centre for the treatment of cancer in the world. How fortunate am I? But I would be less than honest if I didn't confess to missing them dreadfully. So I've had to make decisions regarding how I am going to deal with missing them SO MUCH!

I have no concerns re: Tossie and Snooze themselves; I don't doubt that they're having the time of their lives. And that should be enough to enable me to get on with my life secure in the knowledge that they are safe. And although that knowledge is there, my inevitable ...read more