I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by the sadness of life at the moment. Not my own, but the sadness I see around me, particularly where animals are concerned. I can see the monkeys in the Sanctuary from my garden and this evening I saw one of them - Baboo - in a tree by himself sitting in the sleeping position. He's in a large open enclosure; where were the rest of his troop; monkeys always sleep together both for warmth and comfort; why was he on his own? I called to him and he raised his head and looked at me but made no move to join me. I was standing on the outside of the enclosure by this time; we looked at each other for some moments and when I moved away it was with a heavy heart. His sadness had communicated itself to me and I felt powerless to help him. It strikes me as so very wrong when animals become depressed; I saw it many times in monkeys. Any animal including humans deprived of its natural environment suffers greatly as a result. And that I find so sad. Much as I would like to heal the world - who wouldn't - I can only do my best for the animals in my care and trust me when I say that Candy, Snooze, Lux, Rusty and Tosca enjoy a quality of life experienced by very few!

It's Autumn now - thank the good Lord - but I've always found Autumn very melancholic; here I love it because of the huge change in the weather, but as the leaves turn brown on the branches of the trees and the long grasses relinquish their height and buoyancy; as the vivid green of the bush turns to gold and russet and umber and surrenders, sighing to the embrace of death I find the familiar melancholy claiming me once again. I think I'd better change the subject immediately before I descend completely into bathos - deeply unattractive and to be avoided at all costs.

Actually writing it down has made me feel a hundred percent better; in fact I feel quite perky now! I've had writers block for weeks, depressing in itself but I feel it's over now and my pleasure in writing has returned. Hallelujah!!! Also my laptop had died; whether it's death or a coma from which it could recover I know not so I need to find an IT doctor very soon. So without my laptop, Internet connection or transport of my own communication is a major problem. Hells bells...

Also I'm experiencing a bout of friend sickness; not home sickness but I am missing my nearest and dearest: those mates who have been in my life for decades, with whom I share so much history, have had a million laughs with, can kick off my shoes and be myself with; those friends I miss very much. I spoke to one of them tonight, my darling Mo. When we first met I was 19 and Mo was 27; Mo will be 74 next month and I'm looking at 67 later this year. Sheeeiit! Facts have to be faced; one of us could fall of our perch while I am still in Africa: alot of my mates - not all - are in their 60's and 70's and I would like to see them all in the not too distant future. My visa has another 21 months to run (bliss) but I shall have to make a visit before then in order to touch base with those beloved friends. So as soon as it's financially viable that is what I shall do! Gosh I feel so much better!

Because of my difficulty getting info out at the moment, may I take this opportunity to thank all of you who sent me info re: my quest to find my friend Angie. I now have her address and 'phone number! Thank-you guys, I really do appreciate it. Also 'Fred' was found a wonderful home by the NSPA so that story had a happy ending and boy! do I like happy endings!